I am bored this evening. I think there's some quote that says something like "Only the boring are often bored."
This could be true. I know I am a totally lame one on one conversationalist. I do fine in a group but I can't hold a conversation with just one person to save my life.
Well, I can, with close friends and family of course, but with casual acquantances and that kind of thing? Yeah, as if. Makes me a real hit at parties, I'll tell you.
Matter of fact, when I got to Krumpet's party last week, she wasn't there. She had had to go to the store for some last minute supplies and I was stuck trying to make conversation with the father of one of her daughter's friends. He ended up going outside with Jonny (Krumpet's husband for those who have lost their scorecard) and I stayed with the small people and watched them play video games.
Lame, I tell you. I am totally lame.
I know I stifle myself this way. I met someone through Diaryland that lives here in Baltimore that I would have loved to have met in person. She emailed me and we talked about meeting up, but in the end, I let that whole social awkwardness thing overwhelm me. Now, there's another meetup I might be able to arrange for this weekend as I will be in Allentown, but again, I'm just plumb scared. I have the social grace of an ox.
(Yes, Tania, I'm talking about you. If you're free Saturday night, and you're willing to be stuck with this extremely challenged chick for the evening, drop me a line)
I remember once, when I was about 12 or 13, I was loafing on our sofa, dozing off, thinking (with the usual teenage angst) that was life was so dreadfully dull. And I heard so clearly this voice saying "You must create your own excitement"
And for a long time I tried to follow that edict. To the point of causing a lot of unnecessary drama and turmoil. For a while I seemed to always getting into some sort of trouble. In my early 20's, I worked as a can scanner (ie: cashier) at a grocery store and I would regale coworkers and customers alike with my recent escapades. I was often told that my life was like a soap opera and I should write a book.
But, although I had the attention, and I had the drama and excitement in my life and there was always somthing going on, I wasn't happy.
The difference now is that yes, there isn't a whole lot of excitement in my life. But there is a whole lot of happy and I'll take that any day.
This comes from her too: If you read my diary on a regular basis leave me a note or a comment and then post this in your diary and see who reads you. Or you could just say hi for the heck of it.
