So yeah....I had to take responsibility for dinner last night. I had no idea what I was going to do. I asked Google, "What should I have for dinner tonight?" and one of the results brought me to some sort of portabella mushroom creation and THAT sparked a rememberance of something Keckler (of TWoP fame) wrote on her Grub Report and I went a-searching and found her recipe for baked portabellas (sorry, didn't bookmark it so no linky for you but it should't be that hard to find) but didn't think that would be quite enough for dinner so I solicited some of my coworkers for side dish suggestions and the winner was cous cous but I was not even ABOUT to serve cous cous straight from a box completely unadulterated so I set my mind to wandering and came up with the following dinner which was quite yummy and well received by Jack teh Chef and tonight HE cooks dinner and we shall have Cheesy Ale Soup. With crusty bread. Uh-huh.
1) Rummage throught the portabellas at Safeway taking care to select only the most perfect caps. Manage to break one of said perfect caps in half. Sheepishly put it back and find another. Four in total is good. If you're me. And Jack. Your mileage may vary.
2) Also locate a bag o' spinach. I used baby. Awwwww.
3) Cast your mind back to see whether you can remember whetehr you ever used that lemon in the back of the fridge. Decide that no, in fact, you did NOT use that lemon and it's probably still sitting there.
4) Remember conversation you had last night where you realized that "HEY! We have all the ingredients for making pesto!" Scowl at the memory of chef/fiance remarking "Who is this WE you speak of?" 4a) Psst? Said ingredients would be basil, pine nuts, garlic, parm cheese, olive oil
4b) Shut up, I do TOO know how to spell parmesan, I'm just lazy. Haters.
5) Find cous cous. Debate flavors. End up with parmesan (see?) because that will probably work best with the pesto ingredients.
6) Get some Brie. Just in case the cheese du la goat currently hiding behind the lemon has gone bad.
7) Greet cashier with "HiIhaveaveryhighmaintenancerequestplease!" 7a) Ask very nicely that he be very careful with the mushroom caps because they're fragile, see, and breakable if someone clumsy (NOT ME!) tries to pick them up BY THE CAP (derrrrrr)
8) Home again home again bippity boo, I'm sure you call can figure this part out.
9) Get home, greet chef/fiance, clean kitchen, deflect "What's for dinner" queries with "I'm not telling la la la la"
10) Recover goat cheese and lemon from fridge. Lemon is clearly a little worse for wear but will do for juicing. Poke goat cheese suspiciously. Take small bite (with MUCH trepadation, recalling the last time you had bad goat cheese) just as chef/fiance says, "Yeah, that's bad".
11) Spit.
12) Begin to clean mushroom caps. Glare at chef/fiance when he asks, "Are you going to degill those?"
13) Degill mushrooms
14) Attempt to light oven
15) Attempt to light oven
16) Attempt to light oven
17) Curse
18) Decide to stall lighting oven and begin preparing mis-en-place
19) Point out to chef/fiance (in a friendly conversational manner) that YOUR method of cooking is different from his because YOU like to do all your prep first whereas he preps as he goes and tell him that you're not saying your way is better than his (or vice versa) just that they're DIFFERENT ways and YOU like to prep first
20) He says, "That's called mis-en-place"
21) Glare again
22) Chop basil and pine nuts finely. Begin chopping garlic. Chef/fiance asks that you wear metal glove because he fears that you will chop fingers off. Tell him you're being careful. He reminds you that HE was being careful when he chopped HIS finger off. He tells you it would make him feel better if you would just wear the damn glove
23) It puts the glove on it's hand or else....oh wait
24) Instead of putting glove on hand, chop garlic one handed with the other hand behind your back. 24a) Stick out tongue at chef/fiance
25) Mix garlic, pine nuts, basil with olive oil and parmesan in small bowl. Set aside.
26) Attempt to light oven
27) Attempt to light oven
28) Attempt to light oven
29) Open beer
30) Stall some more by lighting a fire under the liquids for a) cooking the cous cous and b) blanching the spinach.
31) Mix topping for mushrooms. Juice of one janky lemon, dollop of olive oil (roughly 4 TBSP), clove garlic and some dried thyme. Realize that whisking with a fork in the same manner that you would whisk scrambled eggs works perfectly well for emulsifying the topping. Huh. Who woulda thunk it. Cool 31a) Spoon topping atop mushrooms
32) WRENCH door of broiler pan off kilter while attempting to light oven
33) Lie flat on the floor and mutter incantations at oven
34) Oven lights
35) Preheat to 350
36) Drink beer
37) Place mushrooms in oven to bake for ten minutes.
38) Slice Brie parallel to cutting board into four slices. Wearing glove this time because you're not entirely reckless and hello, you're slicing right towards your palm.
39) Blanch spinach until somewhat wilted
40) Rinse under cold water, squeeze out moisture, rough chop
41) Cook couscous according to package instructions
42) Remove mushrooms, top with spinach and cheese, place under broiler for cheese to melt
43) Broiler turns off
44) Curse. 44a) Place mushrooms in microwave to melt cheese
45) Stir pesto mixture into cous cous, mound on plate, top with mushrooms, serve
