No really, he is. More than once I've had to say, "Jack, that's not the phone, that's the remote." He tends to have these imagined conversations, most amusingly with Axl Rose, although there have been other classics as well.
The other day he was telling me about his time on the police force where he was known as Sgt. Fury and he told me about his commendations from the Chief of Police and from the Secretary of the....World.
Yes, he lives in a rich fantasy land and all I can do is smile and nod and say, "Yes, dear."
Did I ever tell y'all about the night he grilled up some steaks for us? He was seasoning the meat, rubbing in spices and then he started talking to the meat. "Is this your first time in Baltimore? Uh-huh? Yeah, I've been doing this for awhile." - Basically, approximating the small talk a masseuse might make with a client, as he rubbed and pounded the meat.
He's a chef. Some of you know that, for others this is news. And man, oh man, am I a lucky lucky girl. Dude has mad skillz, yo. Plus, the perks of dating a chef are incredible. When I go to his restaurant (M*Cormi*k and Schmi*k) I pay for pretty much nothing.
And the things he can whip up out of a practically empty refrigerator? It's unbelievable.
Of course, there's a drawback. One night I got home late from working at the bar (oh yeah, I bartend parttime now, some of y'all don't know that) and was dead tired but also hungry. I asked him to make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
"A regular peanut butter and jelly or a CHEF peanut butter and jelly?" he asked.
I looked at his warily. "Regular?"
"Bzzz! Wrong answer."
"Okay....but don't do anything weird to it. Peanut butter, jelly, bread, that's IT."
So.....he came back.....with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich....a GRILLED peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
I was grumpy. But as it turned out, it was hella yummy, so I forgave him.
We live downtown in Baltimore, in the heart of Fells Point. Me, Little Miss Afraid to Drive in the City! But I'm getting more confident and living down here is teh awesome. Plus there's a sub shop right next door when I can get diet soda whenever I run out (of course, they're all catpetters there but that's okay - and I'll tell y'all about catpetters later, it's become kinda like janky, a word that I use WAY too much) and the liquor store is right across the street. And there are so many cute little bars and restaurants down here. And Jack is practically a celebrity here, everyone knows him. We went to Ale Mary's for dinner a few weeks back and must've been stopped at least three times on our way out the door by people who knew him.
So yeah, overall, life is good. I live with a crazy person but he's crazy in love with me and I'm crazy in love with him.
