Navigate

current entry
entry archive
private entries
Contact
profile
email me
notes
need the password?
Thanks
host
design

What's Eating GeekGirl?
2006-01-05 ~ 12:58

I am bummed.

I don't know WHY I'm bummed. Life is pretty good right now. To wit:

Work. Definitely looking up.. (The following will most likely mean nothing to any of you. Just indulge me for a bit, I'm too gloomy donkey Eeyore today to deal with your lip) I've got a 66% conversion rate right now. As compared to 20% last month. Department goal is 30%. So I'm ahead of the game. And I have 9 CCs so far and I need 10 for the week. This also is good. Go me.

Friends. Tea and Krumpet and Lillibet and Ann and Debbie. I've got a terrific network there and each of them are special in their own ways. I've been spending more time with them and this makes me happy.

Boys. Heh. Boys r Fun. Let's just say I've been enjoying myself and leave it at that.

Family. Now that I'm out of the house and away from psycho Auntie De, my relationship with my mom has improved dramatically. Dad is still goofy as hell. Although, I do worry about Greg. A lot. Because he's drinking. A lot.

Children. The kids are doing well. Lissa in particular is blossoming. Susie's speech is much much clearer. Matter of fact, now that she can be easily understood, the child never shuts up. (Squee-Girl: Takes after her mom. Me: Bite me, bitch) Ben is still challenging but we'll get there with him.

Money. I'm not struggling. Okay, I'm not living the high life either but I'm not constantly worrying about finances like I used to. So this is good.

So all the external stuff is good, right?

Internally? I'm feeling a lot more self-confident than ever before in my life. I'm cute and funny and smart and people like me. AND! Not only did I not gain weight over the Thanksgiving to New Years holiday season, I actually LOST five pounds.

But, I'm still too sensitive and insecure. My healthy ego often shouts "It's all about me!" but there's a dark side to that. When things don't go right, when I get shut out by someone close to me, I can't help feeling that it's my fault, that there's something wrong with ME, even though I know intellectually that it's not me, that there is a whooooole huge mess of BS going on that has NOTHING whatsoever to do with me.

Hey! If nothing else, writing this entry helped me pinpoint why I was feeling so down. Result!

So. Let's get back up again, shall we?

I am looking spectacularly cute today. Yes, more so than normal. Everything has fallen into place nicely, my hair is perfectly waved, eyes are sparkling, rack is spectacular as always.

Squee-Girl: Shallow much, Vicki?

Me: Shut it. Seriously. Before I boot you and that mooing freak sidekick of yours out of here for good.

Sigh. Yep, trying to perk myself up for shallow reasons isn't working. I guess I just have to let myself wallow in glumosity for a while.

Ooh! I know, let's try this:

CHAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!

|

before || after
Something random

Moved! - 2010-10-27
Savory Sour Cream and Chive Waffles - 2009-01-03
This kind of thing can only happen when you work virtually - 2008-10-19
It's 8am and I am awake....and writing - 2008-10-17
Ooh fancy! - 2008-10-15

Extras
Widget_logo
Widget_logo
Widget_logo