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Elvis needs boats
2005-11-28 ~ 12:21 p.m.

And the word for the day is "Asshat". If you read my pink diary, you know why. If you'd LIKE to read my pink diary, just let me know.

Moving on.

So Saturday night Krumpet and I went to this Slumber Party thing. First though, we had to stop for alcohol. We were in a somewhat unfamiliar area but I said, "Hey, I bet there's a liquor store in that shopping center with Giant" and sure enough, Krumpet is reading the signs on the storefront and she reads, "Bagel, cleaners, wine and spirits." And I say, "Hey they've got almost everything anyone could ever want, if only they had a drycleaner."

And Krumpet says, "Well, that would be the cleaners."

Um. Right. I think I must've thought she meant the wine and spirits were cleaner? Kinda like the Sanitary Market?

So we get to this party and much fun is had and I don't even drink the liquor we brought (a four pack of them thurr Kahlua mixed drinks) because another girl brought Cosmos and how yummy were they!

Krumpet had a realization though which had me in stitches. See, the party was co-hosted by one of Krumpet's daughter's school teachers. Her daughter goes to school with this teacher's son. Krumpet had been trying to set me up with the boy's father but our schedules didn't mesh. And now I'm dating Chandler and even though we're not exclusive or anything, I just don't want the drama of trying to date two people at once.

So anyway, she said to me, "Just imagine if you were dating John now. How awkward would that be?" But also, useful because I could just ask his ex for her recommendation as to which products he would enjoy. Heh. "Hey, would John like this?" "No, he's more of a butt guy."



A brief interlude:

"I help the slobs of the world
The slobs of the world come to me for help"
--Song just now created by Adam



Oh! Also, we met this girl there we totally clicked with. She cracked me up. She actually reminds me a bit of Tina. But louder. (Ooh! And her name is Gina! Which totally rhymes with Tina!) She just went through a breakup so she needs to get out and mingle again. I told her what really helped me was the "I must remember this" list (the list of all the things you're NOT going to miss about your ex) And she said that sounded like an excellent idea. So I'm going to email her because we really need to hang out.

Eventually, Krumpet and I made our way out of there and I'm driving and driving and she starts scrambling to open the windows but I have the child locks on. But hey, if Krumpet wants the windows open, that's fine with me. So I open the window and she sticks her head out and yells, "CHAAAAAAAD!"

And I say, "Krumpet, what da hell are you doing? We're not in Federal Hill, it's not April, Smed isn't here, it's NOT CHAAAAAAD! season," so she starts calling other random phrases out the window.

I locked the windows again after she shouted, "Wagons HO!" as we took off from a traffic light in the middle of the city. I figured shouting ANYTHING that contained the word "ho" in the middle of the city could not possibly be good.

(I feel the need to add here that Krumpet is natually exuberant. She was not drunk at all. Girlfriend doesn't drink)

But then, we saw "Pedestrian, Twinkly Eyed," but Krumpet was unable to shout out to him because I had locked the windows. What a shame.

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