Hopefully I will not continue to be in a bad mood.
I do not set out to ever hurt anyone deliberately. Sometimes I hurt people accidentally. And sometimes I know my actions or words will hurt someone but I do (or say) it anyway for the sake of being open and honest.
I'm not trying to keep anything bottled up inside me. I just want to be me.
But then, in reaction to an either accidental or unavoidable hurt, someone turns around and hurts ME. Deliberately. To...you know....GET EVEN.
Didn't we get past this in grade school?
If I wanted to get even with those who hurt me, I would have done so. But I didn't. I always tried to rise above the hurt. I tried to be the bigger person, tried to give the other person the benefit of the doubt.
But sometimes....sometimes I guess I give people more credit than they deserve.
Or heck, who knows? Maybe I've misinterpreted the whole thing. Maybe I'm just cranky.
Let's move on to something more cheerful, shall we?
I'm down another pound. Over 17 so far. I bought a new skirt the other day, very very cute and size FOURTEEN!!! That's two sizes smaller!!
Anyway, I wore the skirt to work yesterday and I'm going to wear it Saturday night but I wasn't sure which top to pair it with. So when I got home from work last night I pulled on this one top I have, black, scoop neck with sheer sleeves, very cute and I went downstairs and asked Greg what he thought and he did a double take.
He said, "Wow, you really have lost a lot of weight. Definitely wear that."
Yay me!!
Most likely I will not be hooking up with hot Towson boy. I explained to him the other night that I am NOT looking for a random hookup. Although I'm not looking for a long term serious relationship either. I'm not giving my heart away again anytime soon (unless, that is, I get back in touch with Doug, my highschool sweetheart)
But, as I explained to him, I want more than merely sex. I want someone I can hang out with and have a good time with, someone I can go OUT with. As I put it to him, "Stranger sex? Um, no. But....and what is the oh so trendy phrase for it these days? Friends with benefits? Yes please."
Anyway, his attention has lessened and that's okay. He sent me an email last night of a lewd and lascivious nature and I didn't respond. I wrote back today, "Sorry I didn't write back yesterday, I had had a craptastic day and didn't feel like talking to anyone"
Unless he responds with at least a small modicum of sympathetic noises I won't be bothering with him any longer.
I think the whole online dating thing in general is making me feel squicky anyway.
But I'm not worrying about it right now. When the time is right, I'll find someone.
