And let me just add, for the record, that I am now BLOGGING BY EMAIL,
thank you Andrew and I take back all the mean things I ever said about
you. And my stats tracker is working again too. See folks, he really
is trying.
So yeah, for some of you this is going to be recap. Because like I
said, I have a whole 'nother diary and I've already written about a lot
of this over the past week or so since Hot Boy started up here.
But if you haven't read it, it's new to you!
Anyway, he's been up here for about two weeks now and there has
definitely been some eye contact and I KNOW he's been checking me out
and Lord knows I've been checking HIM out. But the ice, she had not
been broken and I was just too shy to walk up to him and start talking
to him. Desperate measures were called for.
Yesterday, I resolved that I would finally speak to him. I was going to
say something casual along the lines of "Hey, if you ever need help with
anything feel free to ask" and segue into an actual conversation
SOMEHOW. I didn't know exactly what I was going to say but I was going
to give it my best shot.
But it didn't happen that way because I? Am a wimp.
I must have walked past his desk a good 20 times yesterday. I'm
surprised I didn't wear a hole in the carpet.
But then, yesterday afternoon, I was returning to my desk and he was
standing at Ann's desk, talking to her and a few other people. I joined
in the conversation easily but then Ann got a call and she dropped out
and then another person got a call and then another and suddenly it was
just me! And Chad! And we were talking! Together!!!
SQUEE!!!
And we probably talked for a good 15 minutes and I found out he's
actually older than I thought (he's still younger than me, but at least
he's in his 30's) and as we talked I slowly (and subtly) moved closer to
him and I THINK he was also moving towards me and at any rate, even if
he wasn't by the time our manager told us to get back to work we were
standing quite close together - closer than what is normal for casual
conversation at least.
So. Then he went off to go listen to calls and I grabbed my friend
Debbie because we're planning on going out next Saturday and I also
talked to her about Chad (I have to stop calling him hot boy, it's
demeaning. Or depersonalizing. Or something. I guess.)
And I'm glad I did because two minutes later, he ended up sitting with
her to listen to calls and I bet she totally would have hit on him if
she hadn't known that I had already claimed him as mine, mine ALL MINE.
So later, he comes back to his desk and THIRTY SECONDS LATER Debbie
comes up to me and grabs me and tells me we need to talk so we go pacing
around the office again and she tells me she found out he's single
(which I already knew because Taihra asked him on Monday) and then she
told him that she was asking because she knows someone likes him and of
course he wanted to know who and she wouldn't tell him and he asked
questions such as "Is she on my team?" and "Does she sit near me?" and
"Have you talked with her recently?", you know, questions that indicate
that he pretty much knew it was me anyway, especially since Taihra ALSO
told him that he had an admirer and he said that he thought he knew who
it was.
Oy.
So today, I decide to just take the bull by the horns.
I stop by his desk and I say, "Chad, do you have a moment?" and of
course he does, he's new, he's only allowed to take three calls per day,
so off we go, walking around the office and I say, "Look, I want to
apologize for Debbie and Taihra and I hope they didn't make you
uncomfortable or anything but when Debbie told me yesterday that she had
talked to you I realized how very junior high school this was becoming
and I'm really sorry about that" and he was all cool and gracious about
it and didn't even pretend to not know what I was talking about so yeah,
I was right, he totally knew they were talking about me all along and he
said don't worry about it and I SHOULD HAVE carpe-ed the diem out of
that mofo and pressed my advantage AND ASKED THE MAN OUT right then and
there.
But noooooooooo.......
We get back to his desk (by this time we were talking about work type
stuff) and he says something about how he has so much to learn and I say
don't hesitate to ask if you have any questions and he said I would
regret making such an open-ended offer like that and I said, no, Chad,
trust me, I don't mind AT ALL.
And he again said he was going to end up bugging the tar out of me and I
would get annoyed.
And I said, no, really, don't worry about it. And, teasingly, "Hey,
remember what Debbie said" TOTALLY alluding to the fact that HEY, I AM
TOTALLY CRUSHING ON YOU SO BOTHER ME WHENEVER YOU WANT
But boys are dumb and he didn't get it and he thought I was referring to
useful workplace advice Debbie had given him yesterday and it took every
ounce of willpower for me to not say, "You really are a dumb boy, aren't
you?"
But no, I went back to my desk and I fretted and I stewed over my lost
opportunity and then I got the BRILLIANT idea to send him a
mother-fucking EMAIL.
(Whoa. I just cursed. Fer real)
So yeah, email:
Right. So, I had every intention of actually asking you if maybe you'd
like to do something sometime (and could I BE any less specific) but I
lost the nerve. Because I AM a total wimp. Hence, this email.
But...yeah, if you ever want to hang out or anything, you know where I
am.
And NOW I'm done.
ARGH!!! Why couldn't I have just left it where it was?!?!?! He was
interested, I'm almost positive about it, but now I've all overkilled
it. Maybe.
I mean, I haven't heard anything back from him but he got on a call
shortly after reading that email and then he went home and besides,
maybe he's going to be all adult about it and talk to me TO MY FACE,
like omigawd, can you imagine, what a concept.
