I said "best" not "random"
2005-06-17 ~ 12:48 p.m.
Okay. Today, right now, I am going to write the Best. Entry. Ever.
Yep. Getting right on that.
You know whose writing style I really really like? Cookie's. (No link, sorry, but if you read her, you know who I mean). I want to write just like her.
You know who else I like? That Tomato Nation chick...Sarah I think her name is. I should go check, hang on.
Yep, Sarah it is. Although I nearly got the name of her site wrong. I had Tomato Palace which is actually a restaurant. Not a blog. Or at least....not to my knowledge.
But see, this is the thing. I read these other sites and I just love the style, the way they write and durnit, I want to write like that too. And the thing is, I DO, sometimes. Well, not exactly. I'm not saying I write like other people - I'm saying I like the way I write and I crack my ass up sometimes (AIEEE!!!! ASSCRACK!!!!) But generally my friends get my best writing. Which I guess is how it should be. Not that I don't love you all, but I guess I should save the best of me for my homeslices.
Yep, homeslices.
So yeah, that's why my diary sucks big hairy moose tail (yep, tail, that's exactly right, tail.) It's not that I can't do it, I just feel guilty, GUILTY I say, giving Diaryland all my best and then leaving nothing left over for my nearest and dearest.
Ooh! I know!! How 'bout a Vicki's Greatest Hits!!! Yeah, a bunch of out of context excerpts from today's emails. I like this idea, it's not lame at all, SHUT UP! Okay, here we go!!
WHEEEE!!!!
"NO!! My lipsticks. My lipsticks must be in order by color NAME (which as we all know means NOTHING! I could almost get behind giving lipsticks numbers instead of names (like they do with Lipfinity and Outlast) except I always end up buying the same color more than once because I can remember color names but not bleedin' numbers, yo)"
"Yep, but the names are so corny sometimes. I do prefer the names just for that reason, cus they're easier to remember....which was the whole point of my rambling parenthetical comment which probably made no sense cus half the things I say make no sense unless you're inside my head and if you ARE inside my head please get out cus you're really creeping me out, eww....."
"I think I've mentioned that I'm going to start watching Desperate Housewives. ABC is rerunning them - Sunday's episode is #3. So, I'm downloading the first two from L*mew*re. (Bcs otherwise I have to wait for the entire season to come out on DVD which is going to be in September and that gives me probably less than a month to catch up before the second season and I just can't stand the pressure, Captain, I'm tearing apart)"
"You? You're a cute, perky, sweet, caring blondie girl. You're everything an asshole is scared of."
"Oh they're definitely making Coke Classic with corn syrup. That's a fact (thanks John). The question is whether New Coke was a ploy to distract us from the great switcharoonie."
"Mars may need women, but we need cake"
See? I know, I know, you all need a moment to recovery from the pithy wittiness that is me. Yes, yes, pithy IS my favorite word this week and I've been misusing it incredibly well.
PANTS!!!! TRAVELING PANTS!!!! TRAVELING PANTS ON STAMPEDING HORSEBACK!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!
